Mindfulness in December

December. It is cold and dark outside and cosy and warm inside. Candles, baking and good food, time with others and an endless list of activities. Everything pulls at us. Cosiness, yes of course! Or is it? Do we have time to enjoy it, or is it more stress and a bad conscience?

We talked to Ellen Medin to find out how a real yoga family handles the Christmas rush. Ellen is the only woman in a family of five. One of her boys is in kindergarten, the two middle ones are at school, and the last is the boss at Nøsen: yoga teacher, hotel director and a great deal more. She herself teaches at Hallingdal Folk High School, so a full-time job on top of the whole gang.

Dear Ellen, how is life in the last month of the year, with Christmas preparations, the dark and all?

"Ha ha ha and ho ho ho! I can confirm a high tempo, as usual. Lots of work for both of us, and busy kids. On top of that we have bought a new house, with the move straight after New Year. That means Advent, Christmas preparations, opening the calendars and compulsory covid testing every morning, things to pack and move and a house to sell as fast as possible. Hemsedal has strict restrictions because of infection, so that has actually calmed the pace a little. I am grateful for that. And that is a great treasure in everyday life in general: being grateful for the small things, which I am actually quite good at.

Otherwise I would say December feels like a fairly ordinary month. I do not have sky-high expectations. Life as a mother of three has taught me to give up on perfect, and I am good friends with not being enough. It is a good trick, not to freak out about everything I do not manage! It is not that dangerous.

In this house we did not decorate for Advent until I had time, I was just smart enough to hand out the Advent calendars to the kids in time. Important priorities! I have also scaled down both calendars and the Christmas present hysteria. We did have a proper gingerbread baking session with Christmas music at full volume, but there will definitely not be much more baking than that. The everyday dinner is, as always, our compulsory gathering point, followed by NRK's Christmas calendar on TV. It is really cosy! And then we play Ludo, so everyone has to put away their screens. That is a goal in itself: as many moments together without screens as possible.

My overall goal for December is good humour. It is a good sign that I am in touch with myself and true to the values I want to live by."

Do you have any yoga-off-the-mat tricks to share with us?

"There is enormous freedom and less stress in good planning and structure. I never go to bed before the house is in order and everything is ready for the next day. Clothes laid out, bags packed and lunches made, and a pleasant morning is well on its way. A good start to the day is priceless for everyone.

I also need a little time for myself before the house and the chaos wake up in the morning. Ideally I solve this with yoga practice, and ideally together with my husband. Still, there is a rule not to feel guilty if I do not manage it. Enough sleep is a high priority, but I try at least to get a little time to collect myself before the rest of the arms and legs start moving. A little margin. The chance to listen to myself right here and now. I can always catch up on the practice later in the day. There is always a gap somewhere.

My most important yoga-off-the-mat trick is to know myself and my honest starting point every single day. It changes so incredibly fast, many times a day! So I keep working on being clear within myself. Then it is easier to make good choices when life tests my limits from every side. All the time! When difficult feelings come up, or a hint of bad mood, I always ask myself: which of my own limits am I stepping on now? Over time I have earned a black belt in setting boundaries, and it is life's greatest treasure! I have got better at saying no, and better at saying yes to myself. You can never really blame anyone else. It is always about ourselves, which is quite exciting really. My need for control is my wish that EVERYONE should be all right, especially in the family. The illusion of control. Mission impossible! Now I have spotted this pattern and I am trying to let go. I have realised I need both time alone and silence to recover. It is good to reach for being your best version, and to actually make room for it: to make sure that I myself am all right.

Other lovely treasures to reach for: being content, gratitude, generosity, good humour, a GOOD helping of self-irony, a really good laugh as often as possible, and surrounding yourself with really good people. In the end we must also get better at forgiving ourselves, dare to be perfectly imperfect, and make more room for our faults and shortcomings."

Those of us who have been to your popular soft yoga classes at Nøsen always feel we get so much more than a yoga class. We feel seen and understood, and when we roll up the mat, our backs feel straighter and our faith in life a little bigger. You simply give us a vitamin boost.

What gives you extra vitamins?

"Knowing yourself so well that you know what it takes to have a good life. We all long for what is real, for meaning. We are all a product of our own history. We must accept what is now, and then the future is up to you. All it takes is to make the next right choice, and then the next right choice, and then the next. Welcome with open arms all the learning that comes from making mistakes. Attack negative thoughts with a ninja sword. Work to be safe enough in life to handle the unsafe. The safety to enjoy life. Find joy in both the responsibility and the tasks life has given us. Reach for being a good person. That is a good feeling! And I am good at having a lot of fun along the way, ha ha!

I also really believe in looking after the community, looking after each other. "Vitamins" for me are making myself unavailable now and then, accepting help, and enjoying time with those closest to me, both my family and the closest people I have chosen myself. Otherwise I love the mountains in every season: big powder turns in deep snow, being outdoors, summit tours, hanging on the climbing wall, surfing, wandering the mountains on mountain skis and gaiters, camping. Allowing myself to just be. Losing track of time and place. The simple life. And even if it gets a bit much and a bit many sometimes, I really love people.

A good December and a merry Christmas to everyone. Remember that it is just a month like all the others, and in the end it does not matter much if the facade cracks a little. That is actually just good! Sometimes life is about breathing in for four and out for four.

Blessed Christmas peace and all GOOD things, we ALL deserve them. A big warm hug, and I hope we see each other at Nøsen soon."