A humble warrior

May-Rita is not only mother to three children of her own; she is also a caring and fair "mother" to the whole Nøsen crew. There is something about her calm, or perhaps a kind of inner strength, that rubs off and makes it good to be around her. She mentors the new BITR members who come to Nøsen, and she is the one you meet if you call or send an email. Many Nøsen guests remember May-Rita best for her famous sourdough bread. Still, life has not always been so cloudless.

Before May-Rita came to Nøsen, she struggled with serious drug addiction. It started as early as 14. Later in life it led her to shut herself away from her family and her children, who grew up with their father. The doctors wrote May-Rita off; they said there was no hope. She was at rock bottom, living on the streets of Oslo, chasing only the next dose. It was then, at the very worst and with nothing to lose, that she plucked up the courage to contact Alexander Medin. Could she come to Nøsen? She had been part of BITR for about a year. The answer was yes, she was welcome, but only if she stayed away from drugs. A few days later, with a shaking voice and frayed nerves, she turned up.

"Even though I went through rehab, my life was full of anxiety and shame. I had no idea how to be with people or how to manage life. After I came to Nøsen, I slowly learned to care about others, to give service and be of help, instead of just feeling sorry for myself. Gradually life began to change. It began to take another shape."

This was early spring 2018. The intention was to stop the medication and build new, healthy routines. May-Rita has been here ever since.

Eva remembers the first weeks after May-Rita arrived very well. She laughs: "We gave May-Rita a week just to relax and sleep off the worst withdrawal. The next week we started to expect her to take part. Some days May-Rita did her tasks perfectly, but very often it was like playing hide and seek. She was given a task, and with a kind of artful effort she disappeared out of sight and was back in bed, asleep."

Still, May-Rita turned out to have willpower. After three months at Nøsen she took her own initiative. She was tired of watching the guests eat what she called "bad bread". So she marched into the kitchen, cleared herself a workspace and started her first experiments with sourdough. She made her own starter, and although she was not quite happy with her own result, the guests were more than happy. Today the kitchen has settled on its own May-Rita recipe, which is still highly valued.

Since 2018 May-Rita's life has turned 180 degrees. She remembers all too well the time she woke with anxiety and just wanted life to end, and the whole way to where she is today. Today May-Rita is one big, warm smile when she talks about her daily routines.

"Yoga has taught me that anything is possible. That it is possible to change direction. All we have to do is practise and find a balance. All the stories I told myself were about not being good enough, that I should end my life, that the world would be better without me. Now I can tell myself other and better stories. Of course it does not happen overnight. But meeting the challenges, not sneaking away, accepting that life is as it is, and trying to be conscientious and to have compassion for myself and others, has taught me that it is possible. And not least: be honest! Without honesty it does not work. The moment we tear off the mask, break holes in the thick shell of protection and stop lying and pretending, we can really care and change in a good way."

May-Rita is passionate about yoga. She did teacher training with Alexander Medin in 2019.